


Canis Minor, or The Ways Brooke Lohst Came to Know Jeremy Heere

by eli_beeli, osterac1999



Series: Constellations [9]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Brooke centric!!!, Character Study, Emotions, Falling In Love, Fluff, Halloween, Heartbreak, Multi, POV Third Person Limited, Pining Brooke, a study of brooke before throughout and after orion, because this is a soft study, brooke doesnt know how to handle Bad Feelings, brooke is Very Hurt, brooke pov, but enjoy!!!!!, but some may be longer!!!! so keep that in mind!!!, jake doesnt know how to handle angry emotions, jere/brooke is not endgame by the way, not a big boy, short chapters are gonna be a Thing btw, tags will be added as chapters are added where those tags apply, these kids need HELP
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-03-15 16:34:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13617303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eli_beeli/pseuds/eli_beeli, https://archiveofourown.org/users/osterac1999/pseuds/osterac1999
Summary: A study of Brooke and her feelings on one Jeremy Heere before, throughout, and after the events of Orion.





	1. Warmth

**Author's Note:**

> !!!!!!!!!!! ok so this was sparked by a comment but also because i love brooke and i wanted to explain how her relationship with jeremy develops more, since in orion itself, shes only shown being bitter, sad, angry, petty, or any mix of those towards him, and shes more complex than that! shes multidimensional!!!!
> 
> chapter one is eli, chapter two will be rachel, and we'll see how it goes on from that point.

Brooke liked looking at the lanky boy in Geometry class, and not just because he sat at her table and was also good at it. Sure, she also liked that, since he was too flighty to notice her copying his test answers, but she liked his face. It was cute. He was also a total no one though, so there was no way she could ever act on the little warm feelings she got in her chest when he nervously explained how problems worked for the fifth time. His genuine actions and nervous ticks were endearing, but knowing Chloe and her own rank in the school politics, she could never act on the feelings, ever.

Until Jeremy suddenly appeared in the mall, looking cute and a little more self confident as he explained his supposed relationship with Madeline, and Chloe decided he was good enough to rise up. Brooke felt the fluttering feeling rise up in her throat, and she washed it down with a sip of iced tea before smiling at him and letting the warmth show in her words, her voice. She was allowed to act now, and she was relishing in that, shyly smiling, coyly drawling; all the tricks Chloe taught her to get a boy interested, she was using. And he smiled, soft and excited, and said he’d love to later, and she felt herself falling.

She prayed he wasn’t another Dustin as she hugged her knees to her chest in the passenger seat of her car to hide her blush while Chloe laughed and called her whipped before starting up the vehicle and taking the slow route back to her house so they could have the standard Friday night girls night. Brooke felt like she was forgetting something, or maybe someone, but she passed the thought by, simply trying to plan her first date with Jeremy. Maybe they’d go to Panera and kiss over a bread bowl of mac n’ cheese. Oh, that was romantic…

Oh no, Chloe was so right. She was gone for him.

She really, _really_ hoped he wouldn’t be another Dustin.


	2. Unease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brooke isn't so sure about her boyfriend anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rach chapter!!!!

Jeremy was… well, weird. Brooke thought that added a lot to his charm, but lately it had been getting… _weirdly_ weird. Don’t get her wrong, she liked every aspect of Jeremy, but sometimes he could be downright mean. And it was totally unlike him, too! One moment, he went from being almost _too_ shy and uncertain to confident and a _bit_ cocky. Not to say that he treated her like that, but she noticed it sometimes when he was talking to people who were, well, below them. 

She might get emotional whiplash at some point, but hey! Chloe totally prepared her for that.

Was that a good thing? _Did it matter?_ She guessed not.

This little, inconsequential thought had taken up a nice, cozy residence in the back of her head. She never dwelled on it for longer than necessary, but it always swam to the forefront of her mind whenever she got home- away from him.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was when she saw him completely shut down his _supposed_ best friend. 

It was true that they hadn’t spoken in awhile, but there was something _harsh_ about the way he seemed to coldly look _through_ him. She had figured they were fighting or something, so she didn’t ask about it, but… there was something off about it nonetheless. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but sometimes it seemed like he didn’t see Michael at all.

What really made her wince from her hiding spot around the corner was the hope she saw slowly building in Michael. She wanted to warn him, say _something_ , but she didn’t know what was happening. She felt an uneasiness, a sense of foreboding as Jeremy glanced off to the side, tilting his head as if hearing someone else. 

Michael was reaching for him, a small smile on his face and hope and _relief_ brimming in his eyes. He was ready to forgive him for ignoring him for weeks. He was excited to hang out with his (probably) favorite person in the world. She saw the _instant_ all of that came crashing down. 

Jeremy turned to him and caught his eyes, saying something, then quickly spun on his heel and made his way toward her. She didn’t see a hint of remorse in the gesture. Well, she didn’t see much of _him_ at all. All she could focus on was the way Michael’s face fell. She felt her heart break the tiniest bit for him.

Maybe Jeremy wasn’t the golden boyfriend she had thought he was.

She was kind of scared because if he could do that to someone he’s known for _years_ , what could he do to her?

She tried to forget the way Michael’s face fell in such intense devastation, and pretended she didn’t feel a pulsing wave of empathy for him, pretended she didn’t care either. Chloe taught her that too. She grabbed Jeremy’s hand and forced a smile and kissed his cheek. He smiled back and started towards the Panera near the school. She didn’t think about what he could do to her.

She didn’t _want_ to think about it, honestly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter: Heartbreak, written by eli and stupidly long considering the shortness of chaps 1 and 2


	3. Heartbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halloween was a series of bad events, one after another. Especially for a drunk girl in a stupid sexy dog outfit.

Brooke had always been self conscious, but with Jeremy so constantly focused on his image, and Chloe spending her every waking moment cultivating her own look to make her an impassable force in the social pyramid, she felt her usual levels of insecurity had at least doubled. She was terrified that with one misstep, she would lose everyone close to her, so she painstakingly did her makeup for the 5th time, making sure it was immaculate. She brushed out the fake tail one last time before walking out of her house, headed for Jake’s place. She continued to nervously fiddle with the hem of her top, readjusting it every few steps. She had to be perfect.

 

She walked in, and immediately held back an uncomfortable grimace as some football player cat-called her. Ha, cat-calling a girl dressed as a dog…

It wasn’t that funny.

She continued on, grabbing a solo cup and taking tiny, nervous sips. She didn’t want to get plastered until after Jeremy arrived. He’d be nice, right?

 

He wasn't. He offhandedly insulted her costume before backtracking after she curled in on herself, giving her an empty compliment. She decided to cut her losses and made a run for the drink table, making sure she grabbed something strong. Jake gave her a concerned look, but she waved it off with a dismissive hand and a smile, which she hoped the poor lighting would mask the falseness of. When she came back, he was gone. She looked at where he had been, disappointed and sad, but deep down, she wasn’t surprised. She simply made her way back to the drinks table to put down the beer she had grabbed for Jeremy. Jake frowned again and pulled her to the side.

“Brooke, you good? You’re looking really sad and anxious and shit. I’m gettin’ a little worried, bro.” She fiddled with the hem of her top again. He grabbed her hand, holding it gently. She was reminded of why Chloe was so desperate to keep him from leaving again, as he looked into her eyes and said in a gentle voice, as though trying to keep her from running, “Whatever you wanna tell me I won’t repeat. You’re my bro, and I care about you too much for that.” She forced a smile, but she knew it was watery. He squeezed her hand a little tighter.

“I-I’m fine-” He leveled her with a Look. She caved. “I’m not fine. Jeremy- he’s being really distant,” she started, biting her lip nervously. “He brushed someone off like they were nothing, and then he kinda almost insulted me about 10 minutes ago before backtracking, and I don’t really know what’s going on with him but I’m scared and what if he hates me or does what Dustin did or just hurts me and I’m scared-”

“Hey,” Jake said softly, interrupting her and forcing her to take a deep breath of air. “It’ll be alright, and if Jeremy hurts you, I will personally make sure he lives to regret that decision via beating him up. What’s the use of having a football player friend if he doesn’t beat up your shitty boyfriends?” he joked, nudging her shoulder playfully, and she snorted.

“Thanks, Jake. This- It means a lot.” He beamed at her.

“No problem, boblem!” She groaned, and he laughed. Then Jenna walked up, her face drawn in slight concern. Brooke felt her smile drop again.

“Hey, Brooke, I just saw Jeremy go upstairs.” Jake squeezed her hand once more before letting go.

“Thanks, Jenna,” she responded softly, looking at the stairs. She prayed she wouldn’t find out what she thought she might. Jake followed close behind after Jenna whispered in his ear. She toyed with the hem of her top again as she knocked on the door to Jake’s parents’ room.

“J-Jeremy?Are you- are you in there?” She heard shuffling and a poorly disguised and very slurred ‘sshhhhh’, making her bite her lip. “Jenna Rolan said she saw you go upstairs… Jeremy?”

Voices inside the room whispered with varying degrees of urgency. Jake starts shaking with anger beside her, and she curls up on herself, stepping back to avoid his rage. She didn’t want to get caught into the football captain’s crosshairs. He snarled.

“ _ **Jeremy Heere?!**_ ” Jake bristled, and more hushed voices were heard from inside. Brooke dug her nails into her palms as Jake started pounding on the door. “Jeremy, I _know_ you’re not having _sex_ on my _parents’ bed-_ ” Brooke felt her blood run cold. “-because if you were, I’d have to _rip. Your. Balls. Off!_ ” Brooke lifted one of her hands from its place at her side to start pulling on her hair.

 _This couldn’t be happening,_ she thought, but then a voice broke that thought.

“GREAT, THEN YOU’LL _BOTH_ BE BALL-LESS!” a girl screeched from behind the door, voice full of venom. Chloe, she realized belatedly, as Jake screamed her name in shock, his voice distant in her ears. She heard Jake and Chloe making a lot of noise and screaming, but it was all distant compared to the overwhelming coldness in her chest as she wrapped her arms around herself, trying to warm herself back up. She glanced up and met Jeremy’s panicked eyes.

“Jeremy?” she asked, voice weak, sure she looked pitiful with her arms wrapped around herself as she hunched over herself further, trying to be as small as possible.

“Brooke!” He sounded…. Surprised? She couldn’t tell. The cold feeling was seeping into her brain too. He stood there, panic rising on his face.

“ _JEREMY!_ ” Jake screamed, and they both flinched. He looked at her with almost dead eyes before blinking, regret flashing over his face, but only for a second.

“I’m sorry,” he said, almost no feeling behind the words before he shoved her to the side, rushing past her and down the stairs. She distantly registered that she was on the floor, and stumbled as she got up, grasping onto the railing of the stairs for dear life as the feeling of cold pervaded all her senses, and a harsh pain started blooming in her chest. She started staggering her way downstairs.

 _I’m not drunk enough for this,_ she thought distantly, grabbing the bottle of vodka from the kitchen before stumbling into an empty room. She fell against the dresser, chugged as much as she could, and slid to the floor with a wet, broken sob.

 _This is the worst night of my life,_ she thought miserably as the feeling of cold and pain spread through her body faster than the burn and numbing feeling of the vodka could. She just sobbed and sobbed, drinking more every time she could get enough air to manage a swig. She pretended to not hear the excited party goers outside her little sad-room.

 

She realized later, seated in the back of Michael’s beat up car, that she had been in love with Jeremy Heere. She’d never expected that to hurt like it did, but here she was.

A dumb blonde in a shitty furry costume, sitting in the back of a stranger’s car, tear stains on her cheeks, drunk as a skunk, and heartbroken.

She leaned against the window, the numbness seeping into her bones slowly, and she thinks _well, at least Jenna kept me from getting date raped._ What a positive thought.

She let the pain wrap around her heart until she felt like she suffocating. I mean, she probably deserved it, if Chloe decided to join in.

 _Poor Brooke, who no one loves,_ she thought as she stared with dead eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter: Rage
> 
> ooooo this one was fun to write. i wanted to save and hug brooke the whole time, but it was interesting to explore her feelings during the party more!!!!


	4. Rage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brooke has issues with Jeremy's behavior

Brooke was already angry. She was angry about Jeremy. She was angry about Chloe. She was angry about the fact that she had been tricked by a cute boy with a cardboard cutout smile- _again-_

It was partially her fault, so while she was _angry_ , she couldn’t place the blame on them.

But when she heard what he did to Michael, she was livid. Michael was crying though, so she couldn’t let it out now. She had to hold him while he cried like he held her just a few minutes ago. Jenna gave her a sad look that told her that Jeremy and the others had somehow hurt her too, and the anger burned stronger in her chest. Jenna must have seen the rage flickering in her eyes, though, because as soon as she made the sad expression, it vanished, replaced by a raised eyebrow and a hand on her shoulder. She took a deep breath and nodded at Jenna.

She had to stay calm, for Michael. So she wouldn’t burn up like she almost did when that volleyball girl messed with Jake’s heart, like she almost burned up when Chloe fed her sadness through a filter to change it out for rage at Dustin. She was so bitter for so long with him, so angry that she couldn’t think of much else. Her grades, her connections- they suffered because of that rage, and it exhausted her beyond belief, especially since she had spent every waking moment theorizing the best ways to be vengeful and petty. She couldn’t do that again, it wasn’t healthy! She had to keep her cool.

So she calmed herself as best she could, taking deep breaths, loosening her shoulders, letting her eyes close as she tightened her hold on Michael, repressing the urge to kiss his cheek. She blinked her eyes open when Jenna spoke again, but easily welcomed the break from the (still too strong) ill feelings, perfectly happy to vent her frustrations through pixelated car races. She prayed everything would be fine, that her anger would have the time it needed to burn out on its own, without taking her with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter: Pain
> 
> vhsjdkasl im so so sorry for the wait on this. ive been busy, and even though i've kinda fallen out of bmc, im dedicated to finishing constellations, especially this little fic because brooke is so important to me. hopefully chap 5 will be done and out soon!!! sorry again for the wait!!!

**Author's Note:**

> next update in 4 days!!  
> Next chapter: Unease
> 
> we hope you guys liked reading this like we did!!!!!!
> 
> both of us live for comments and kudos!!!
> 
> if u wanna yell headcanons or general love at us, find rachel at her [tumblr](https://cuddlehoe.tumblr.com/) and eli at [his](https://eli-beeli.tumblr.com/)!!!!!


End file.
